Monday, 9 April 2012

3 weeks left.

This is the last of a trilogy of posts related to my current career. 3 in a row...I know. It seems excessive. 

It's hard for me to concentrate on other subject matter when this part of my life will be over in 3 short weeks.  It's difficult to move on to what will be when I'm still trying to move out of what has been. This transition period is drudgery. Perhaps in hindsight I should have given less notice to my boss however as a result of the long notice I did give, I may have some sort of aftermath position with the company as things move beyond the end of the month.

My last day of work is April 27th. I've been with the company since I was 20 years old. A long time. And now that I can see the end of the journey from my place of employment, an unknown is slowly creeping up on me. It possesses sharp fangs with ragged claws and it's hovering in the corner waiting for me. It asks me in a raspy voice 'what will I do beyond this?' and  'where will I work?' and 'what will I do?'.  All good questions that I am sure will be answered in time.

Truth is, I'm not really thinking about any of those answers just yet. I'm not afraid of the creature that lies in that darkness hoping for an opportunity to bare down on me with its weight. I'm still trying to get through these next 3 weeks. I'm in a transcendent state of mind these days as I gaze upon my unknown future. I wonder if that feeling will change as a new routine sets in at our new place in Nova Scotia.  I'm sure it will. For now, I just keep having too many good thoughts to let the seediness of a job/beast creep into my head. 

I think about how happy my children will be exploring 25 acres of land. Not how they may have difficulty adjusting well to a new school. I think about how much they will be playing together with each other and my wife and I at the beach, in the backyard. Not how they may have trouble making new friends in a rural setting.

I think about my wife who has pined for a more simple life since the day she was blessed with our first child. Not how she may miss her mother, sister and close friends. I think about how she will likely be employed with the school board out there which is such a perfect fit for how she wants to spend the next stage of her career. Not how she may not find that job (or any) and allow anxiety to bring her spirits down.

I think about my parents who will be joining us out there a month after we have settled in and how good this will be for both of them, especially for my father. Not how this upheaval will be too much for either of them to bear at their age and never get properly settled in a new environment.

Too many good thoughts continue to bombard my psyche to let any of that negativity, those voices of pessimism enter the fray. But right now, those noble thoughts center around the end of my career. Even though these last few days drag out and drag on, I walk in to work with a smile on my face each morning. Something I've never done prior to handing in my resignation.

I know that familiar factory smell will be a fleeting memory to my senses soon enough. I know that my climate controlled office which is always too damn hot or too damn cold will soon be a forgotten entity.  I know that swiping my timecard (which makes no fucking sense anyway since I'm on salary for fuck's sake...) will cease to exist beyond the end of this month.
Hence the smile I wear :)

So a chapter, the last chapter in the book that is my career is now coming to an end. This is a possible postscript to this novel featuring a portion of my job that appears to be somewhat exclusive to my skill set and difficult to reproduce with a replacement (at least in the interim).  More on that if anything actually becomes of it. For now, 3 more weeks down and I am a free man. And as a great man once said..."you're young, you've got your health. What do you want with a job?".