It was my scheduled monthly meeting with my boss/president of the company last week when I opened the meeting by nervously spitting out the words ‘I need to give you my resignation’.
It was the most nerve racking thing I have ever done in my life (well, maybe the vasectomy procedure takes top billing in that category) and for some reason I dreaded the impending conversation with her surrounding this decision.
The event went well. She was at first understandably shocked that I was voluntarily leaving the company after a 15 year tenure. She expressed gratitude for the 7 weeks notice I had given and wished me luck in my future endeavors...whatever they may be. I had no real concept of how she would react. In my experience, I have seen her fly off the handle on more than one occasion when unexpected events occur. Plus we had a history where we did not always get along with each other. I didn’t know if after dropping the resignation letter in front of her whether she would turn around and have me escorted out of the building right then and there or allow me to finish out my term training my eventual replacement*. It appears to be the latter.
After a few minutes into the meeting I felt a great sense of relief that this part of the process was now over with. I of course had known this day was coming for months now but haven’t been able to discuss it with anyone at work (other than a close buddy). It was a relief to have the information out in the open. But as I sit here almost 2 weeks later, it does not feel like much has changed. Maybe due to the lengthy notice, I still feel stuck here whittling away my work days. I know this is all going to change soon. In just 2 short months, it is likely I will be living in a new province. It’s just still such a new concept for me that I have not yet come to terms with the massive changes my life is going to be undergoing.
And so ends the only career, the only real work I have ever known. Sounds like a huge turning point in my life and maybe down the road I will be able to reflect on it and agree that it indeed was a life changing decision. Right now, I’m still counting down the minutes until I can leave the office for the day. Perhaps actually not having to wake up at 5 :30am in the morning to head off to this job will be more satisfying and arrive with a sense of finality.
*Side note: As a precaution, I had already removed all of my personal belongings from my office days in advance, made copies of all the e-mail contact data and files I felt I may need assuming I would be locked out of the system once the meeting was over. I think I may have been slightly paranoid about the whole thing but one never knows.)