The countdown to the end of my employment has started. Although I feel I have long ago removed myself from most of the stress associated with my position, that feeling of release has now become tangible. With under 10 weeks to go before we close on the house (and there is no indication to say that the date will change as of this writing), I am experiencing a real sense of finality with the company that has employed me for over 15 years.
This is the only company I have ever worked for since graduating to the real world of employment. I slowly rose through the ranks as a shop floor machine operator with nothing more then a certificate from a community college under my belt, to a senior manager with a private office and staff of 4 direct reports. My income is higher now then at any point in my life. The company has been good to me. Provided me with opportunity to grow and in turn I have been up to the task. I have held this position as a senior manager longer than any other current employee. It’s clear the company is satisfied with my efforts and my productivity.
On the other hand, I have not been satisfied with the company for years. I have harbored distaste for the corporate world since the turning point I experienced. I don’t blame anyone but myself however it became clear after that event that a way out, a fresh start was high on my list of things to get accomplished. And now that checkbox can be ticked off as the reality of me handing in my resignation in two weeks begins to materialize.
It’s not a wave of reality that's hitting me but rather a gradual light snowfall over my cognizant being forcing me to come to terms with not only being unemployed voluntarily but also entering an unknown world of routine that doesn't revolve around e-mail and a desk. I've always been very passive when it comes to change. I accept it but usually let it wash over me rather than embrace it head on.
I will have no boss to report to. No need to wake up at the same time every morning to make sure I am at work on time to swipe my employee timecard. No voicemail to check, reports to deliver, analytics to…analyze. A very different and unknown world awaits.
I will miss the guys I work with. Not much, but I will miss them. Our usual banter, our lunch dates compromised of venting about our bosses, too many meetings and being micromanaged. I will miss the paycheque. The benefits. The view from my office.
I will not miss this corporate life. This management position. It’s been so long now since I have been happy with my position and my work that it’s difficult for me to relate back to a time when I welcomed the promotion and everything that came with it. I don’t feel burned out. I just feel that this path was never one I was intended to follow. Now that this new adventure awaits me, I find myself itching for it to begin. Get on with it already. I will not miss this corporate life...at least, that's what I am telling myself.